Welcome to Dementia Connections

"She's not my mom anymore." "I don't know how to talk to dad now." "Why should I visit, they don't even know who I am." These quotes, and many more just like them, represent some of the conversations I've had with frustrated and heart broken family members over the years as a speech and language pathologist in the long-term care setting. In this time I've had the privilege to travel to countless nursing homes, assisted living homes, specialized memory care units, etc. and after all my interactions with residents and family members I've determined one thing; Dementia sucks! Whether you are talking about Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, Frontotemporal dementia or any other menacing form of dementia, they all suck. As a professional who routinely works with newly diagnosed individuals and their families, I rarely get to speak candidly about the issue. Thus, the Dementia Connections blog was born:) The goal of this blog is to take a candid and honest look at what dementia really is, what it isn't and everything in between. From new research opportunities to how to survive day to day as a caregiver, we'll discuss it all. With my back ground in biological psychology and communication sciences and disorders, I'm a big believer that understanding the brain leads to a better understanding of behavior. For me, that is the main connection we all need to make. If we understand and "de-mystify" what is happening in the brain of our loved ones, then the behaviors we routinely see become less scarey and actually make a lot of sense. Once we can understand what is happening to people, we relate and CONNECT to them. In order to begin our conversation about understanding dementia, I will offer an easy to follow explaination of how Alzheimer's disease works and how it progresses through the brain directly impacting the affect and behavior of our loved ones. Please see my next post and the embedded links and pictures to unravel Alzheimer's. But before we get down to the nuts and bolts, we have to clear up one thing. Remember those comments I started the post with? All that frustration and even anger people can experience toward loved ones with dementia, if they are really honest? That anger and frustration is directed at the illness, not the person. There is a huge difference. My 8 year old daughter has Type 1 Diabetes. Type 1 Diabetes sucks. My daughter, however, is awesome! My daughter has an illness, but she is much more than her illness. She is creative, funny, smart, caring, talented and she means the world to me. While we obviously have our disagreements and like every dad I get frustrated from time to time, I do not associate symptoms of her diabetes with my feelings for her as a person. If her sugar goes up, I don't get frustrated at her. I understand this is part of the illness, address the symptoms, make changes to our routine, etc., and keep on developing my relationship with her. That relationship changes as she grows, we relate differently now than from when she was an infant, but then...now...in the future, our basic connection will never be broken no matter what happens with her illness. When we take a moment to step back and understand dementia for what it really is, an illness affecting our loved ones, we can have that same mind set. Good days...bad days...early stage...late stage, it really doesn't matter. It may impact how we communicate with our loved ones, our expectations, our environment, etc., but we are always connected to the people we love. If you accept that fact and let go of the control we are all desperately trying to hold onto as we see changes in our loved ones, we can enter their world and create a relationship that allows for live long connections. From the moment we all open our eyes for the first time, until we all close them the final time, we are all seeking meaningful connections. I hope this blog will give you information and strategies to foster and maintain those meaningful connections with your loved ones suffering from various forms of dementia. With that as our foundation, let's get started by unraveling Alzheimer's disease. Please see my next post and offer your thoughts and comments. STAY CONNECTED.